The question contains/implies an important idea. That prayer is meaningful both to the individual and the world. Prayer is an abstraction for there are many types of prayer. Before reflecting on my views of the various functions and many levels of prayer, I must first say that the greater part of my prayer is private matter between G*d and myself. It is something I have done almost every day of my life. My experiences and relationship to prayer have always been intense. I recently finished a book called 'To pray as a Jew' by Rabbi HL Donin which along with my observance at synagogue have profoundly changed my views and my life.
The 18 blessings of the Amidah for example exemplify my current conception of the functions of prayer. Based on those beautiful verses I would identify the following as major functions of prayer in my life:
• Honoring G*d for sustaining me and giving my fears to him - my fears always being that I won't have what I need.
• Expressing my commitment to the ideals of the commandments such as wishing the world the peace of Shabbat
• Exploring the attributes of G*d such as mercy through the verses of prayers which line by line relate different values and ideas. Each prayer yielding different associations.
• Giving abundant thanks and expressing my hope for health, prosperity, and justice.
• Expressing my repentance for imperfections and asking for forgiveness.
• Humbling myself before the overwhelming power of the Name and wisdom of the Torah
• Addressing G*d's sanctity to life through blessings (Even if I can only say Amen) which acknowledge G*d as the source of all which we need and enjoy. Such as Hamzon or Kiddush.
• Praising the acts of G*d such as the creation.
Over the years I have had a variety of experiences with prayer. As a child I remember being praised for learning and saying my prayers. I recall teaching younger children prayers when I was eleven at catechism. (I still know them.) I lost my Christian faith at age fifteen. I went through a couple years where I didn't believe in anything; but I wanted there to be a G*d. It was constantly on my mind.
For the last seventeen years I prayed several times a day. Without being Christian, I adopted a Jesuit technique called 'being constant in prayer.' This idea teaches that at any moment we should all either be grateful or turn to G*d for strength. I was also influenced by several old siddurs I picked up at the library book room. I did not understand the way they were constructed but I would often read them. I have another such Hebrew book on prayers of consolation which I liked a lot. However, nothing prepared me for the utter beauty of our synagogue services. They humble me to the core; they are unconquerable and worthy of a life time of study. (May G*d grant this to me and may it serve his ends.)
Finally, there is not a single goal to my prayers. For me, prayer happens on many levels which even contradict one another. You (Rabbi Tamar) talked about the transcendent and the imminent. I experience both of these in communal and introspective states. Sometimes the singing makes me feel one with everyone else. Sometimes I feel far away inside myself. Sometimes I feel I am standing before the throne of the king - with a humbling presence. I used to call this the holy spirit. We call it Kadosh (Shekhinah) but it is the spirit of holiness. I feel humble then I feel exalted. I feel naked and vunerable than I feel protected by everyone else’s faith. Like a singer I try to harmonize with them. Most of all I feel our prayers have great balance. I never spin off into ecstasies or fall into self conscious, insecurities before the overwhelming power and complexity of the siddur or Torah.
I assume it is different for others. I also assume that in all religions others may find what they need. Before, reading Sim Shalom I did not ever feel both control and freedom. As a young catholic, I felt great fear though I felt the presence. I still feel some fear; when the Torah procession begins It is like my heart is also being carried around the room. Yet, then we will just sing and I can look up at the sky light and think simply "I am here for you G*d, I know I am doing what I was made for, I know that I am standing right where I am meant to be standing, how great are you H-Shem!"
As to the importance of prayer in the world. There are other forms of piety besides prayer but none as universal. I read that when the temple was destroyed, prayer took on a new significance in representing the sacrifices (I am referring to three daily services) There is a mystical level to this but also a practical one. Around the world, each community is united in its prayers. Prayer directs our consciousness to G*d and thus (as in procreation and doing good deeds) G*d creates ‘good’ through us.
I want to encourage others to turn toward prayer to balance their overwhelmingly secular lifestyles. It is only in the last three hundred years that the majority of people on this earth have turned away from prayer and ritual. There were some positive consequences as thousands of years of orthodoxy had led to a loss of initiative. However, the ultimate result is the cruel, subjective world we live in today. Each person has their own shallow philosophy that they cannot sustain except by remaining ignorant. Prayer is seen by many as pretentious or ridiculous. Those people are deceived. The only reason not to pray is that you don't believe in G*d. Those who don't believe in G*d believe in nothing. I pray for them the most.
No comments:
Post a Comment